The Old Lands OTS 3.0

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Life is as unreliable as the weather forecast. Just when you thought that it’s going to be a sun-shiny day, thunderstorms with rain showers turned up. There are some things that you just can’t prepare for. And when these unexpected things happen, you better hold on and try to rise above the circumstances. One of the circumstances that you just can’t prepare for is when your husband or lover got laid off from work. Yes, you might somehow expect this to happen with the economic crisis and all, and you had stashed away some extra savings for the rainy days, but nothing can prepare you for the emotional and mental turmoil.
When things like these befall your relationship, anticipate that your husband or lover will be a bit sensitive about things. When people are grieving, you got to say the right words. And saying the right words is about knowing what not to say. When your husband got laid off, better choose your words and not say these things.
1. “Oh my God! What are we going to do now?” This is not the right time to freak out. Your husband may still be in shock or is overwhelmed with anxiety and fears. He needs your support. Panicking will only make things worst.
2. “Why? What happened? What did you do?” Again, keep in mind that your husband just got laid off; bombarding him with questions of what happened is like hitting him with a mallet on the head.
3. “You better start looking for a new job or else…” or else he is going to find a more supportive companion in life.
4. “Well, I guess I’ll start looking for a third job!” Don’t rub it in his face. He already feels like crap from being laid off, making him feel like a charity case will never help both of you.
5. “Do you remember John, my best friend’s husband? He just got promoted and had fully paid their house.” After sharing that great news, how do you expect him to react?
6. “Alright, listen-up, here is what we are going to do.” I know that you want to help and support him,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but taking in charge of both your lives will intensify his helplessness. Be discreet about your support and give him time to compose himself.
7. “Maybe you could work for my grand father’s company.” He already lost half of his identity when he got laid off; don’t make him lose his dignity and balls, too.
8. “It’s no big deal.” You meant well and you want to keep the calmness in your conversation, but he might think that you are a bit insensitive since this is a big deal.
9. “It’s common nowadays; people lose their jobs every day.” He cannot help feeling like loser and confirming that he is a part of that “loser group” will only add fuel to the fire.
10. “Things happened for a reason. This is a blessing in disguise, I’m sure of it.” This is a nice thing to say but only after he has regained himself and had already absorbed the shock of being laid off. For now, accompany him in his misery and a cheer-up sex wont hurt either.